Wednesday, December 26, 2007

Update: The Job Situation

Thanks to everyone who has been so wonderfully supportive and willing to do whatever they can to help me in my current situation with my career. It meant a lot to me to know that so many people have my back. :-)

Not much has changed. I still can't take the exam, although I have been pushing with the National Board for Respiratory Care. I found out I am missing two classes (chemistry and physics) and if I took those classes that I could take the exam but I wouldn't be able to get my AS. I have already started looking into schools.

I have already come to terms with the fact that I will no longer be working at my hospital. It was a part of my identity for 5 years and so the transition will be tough. I have the option to rush into another job or to collect unemployment. I have decided to opt for unemployment for this moment as I go back to school. I think I would be filling up my plate too full to try and work and go to school with all three kidlets. If I go back to school at least I will be able to take the exam and get my RRT credential that I can take anywhere, and that includes being re-hired at my old job.

I have already put in an application for the kids to get Healthy Families insurance. I wish I could COBRA out my current benefits but it would be far too expensive. Stephen and I will just try not to get hurt or sick.

My only frustration with this whole thing was that I wasn't given more than a month's warning that I would lose my job, and when I did find out that I needed more time to go to school I was refused that time. It isn't ethical. I did consider hiring a lawyer but that can be a two way street. I may win, but even if I do I will be permanently marked as "The RT That Sues" and I don't think it would be worth it.

Thanks to everyone who has been so sweet to me. It's been a pretty emotional time, especially since it was going on during the holidays.

Gotta goes nothing!

Friday, December 21, 2007


One of my dear friends, Carey, was just diagnosed with Chronic Myelogenous Leukemia. She is only 37 and has two young children.

Please send your prayers for her. She's just a wonderful mom and friend, I love having her in my life.

Love you Carey.

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Pushing Back Tears With Faith

Proverbs 3:5,6 says: "Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight."

This has got to be one of my favorite Bible verses of all times. It reminds me of a big cozy blanket on a cold night. Many times in my life I have trusted and looking back I knew that the Lord knew what was right all along.

Tonight I sit here slowly absorbing that my career might be ending soon against my wishes. The tears keep trying to sneak up on me but I push them back. The kids are here and I don't want them to worry because mommy is upset.

To truly understand what is happening to me, you have to know a bit of background. I graduated from a vocational college ten years ago without my AS degree but I took my CRRT exam to become a Respiratory Care Practitioner and I passed. Now a step above that exam is the RRT, which is a national registry and given by the National Board for Respiratory Care. I graduated from college "Registry Eligible," meaning that I was able to take the RRT exam. Years passed and I had my kids, went inactive for awhile when I was staying at home, and returned to work in 2004. I went to work for a large medical center where I soon became a relief lead for pediatrics, was a member of the highly regarded transport team, and precepted other therapists. My experience has made me a huge asset to the department and my co-workers are like family. The last two years of my life were nuts. I was divorced, a single mom, then remarried, then pregnant, then I had major surgery, then I had my baby, and coming back from maternity leave I decided I would have to get my RRT exam done. Administration had been asking this of us for awhile but it had never been a priority because my personal life was so crazy.

I applied for my RRT exam but was unable to determine by the selections I was given how I qualified to take the exam. I called the NBRC and asked them which box I was supposed to check and they told me that two years ago they started requiring an AS degree to take the exam. I told them I graduated "registry eligible" so I should be grandfathered in but they refused and when I argued further the lady on the other end of the phone told me to get another job. I hung up very upset and went to my manager with my predicament. She was very understanding and even went up to bat for me, writing a letter to complain about how I was treated and sending it to the NBRC. I let her know that I was going to look into going back to school and she was supportive and told me to let her know what was going on.

I looked into different colleges and one college in particular wanted $17k for me to finish my AS degree. I wasn't sure if this was going to be my best bet so I looked into other schools. We had to weigh out costs and time, as going back to school with three kids and a full time job would be hard.

Two weeks ago I got a letter from Administration telling the therapists in my department that by January 1st, 2008 all RTs would be required to have passed or at least attempted the RRT exam. Those who didn't would have their positions terminated.

I wrote a letter to my manager, administrator, and executive director explaining my situation and how I would be unable to take the RRT exam due to circumstances beyond my control and asked them if I should be concerned about my job. I was called into my manager's office and she told me that it didn't look good because they were unable to make exceptions for this rule because otherwise they would be playing favorites and it might open them to lawsuits. They were unable to hold my position while I went back to school. Basically, their hands were tied and they had to let me go. She did recommend that I try writing out my goals for them. She said that she couldn't promise anything, but they could try. I told her I would.

(I hope I'm not losing you guys...hang in there for a little longer.)

My vocational college had closed down years ago so I had to do some investigating and asking around to find my transcripts. Finally I had them sent to me a couple of days ago. I started calling colleges immediately and what I learned was like a smack in the face. None of the colleges I called would accept the classes I had taken at the vocational college towards my AS degree. In fact, I would have to completely start over like a new student with no credits. So in order to keep my job I would have to start over again as if I knew nothing.

In 13 days is my last day of work. I have done some job hunting and turned in my resume but as it stands I am looking at losing job, my paycheck, my benefits (which my children and spouse are covered under), life insurance, my retirement in less than two weeks and I can't do anything about it. The worst part is that my hospital is just the first to implement this standard and other hospitals will soon follow, meaning that I will not be able to work anywhere soon.

So I stand here at a place in the road where there are so many ways I could go. I could start over and do the program all over again and add another huge student loan to my debt load. I could collect unemployment and look for another job. I could go to college for something completely different. There may be a new path there I can't even see yet. I feel as if I am hovering above a tank full of sharks and I need a game plan on how I will survive falling in the water.

I look at my kids and know I can't just throw my hands up. They need me to be strong and push on and take care of them. My husband is self employed and while he does well we still depend heavily on my income right now. How will I juggle childcare? Will my new job be supportive of me pumping at work so I can keep breastfeeding Midge? What can I sell if I need money? What if I can't get a job? Where is a good place I can waitress?....etc....etc.

Right now I need prayers, and lots of them. I am trying to keep my faith that God has something bigger and better planned for me and a year from now I will be looking back and things will be okay.

I will update my situation as things unravel so keep checking back.

Thanks for your support and love during this difficult time.

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Meet the Nameless Children

I have been writing without using anyone's real name but my own. My mommy instinct tells me that this is a good thing to do for the safety of my offspring. However, I find writing out "my oldest daughter" is a lot more time consuming than just giving them nicknames. So I have decided on the following:

Oldest Daughter (6)- "Nee Nee." This is a shortened version of "Nee Nee Noonie Nunnies," which I called her as a baby for her love of breast feeding. She is in first grade, very smart. She was student of the month in October and told me yesterday after I told her to stop asking me "why?" all the time: "Mom, you told us that smart people ask the most questions." *sigh* She's a super kiddo. She is aka "The Informer" for obvious reasons. I never have to worry about injustice as long as she is around to tattle and bring the judge, jury, and executioner (me) out to referee.

Middle Son (4) - "Bear." He earned this nickname as he was born at 8lbs, 14oz completely natural and unmedicated. He's a sensitive guy...tends to cry over small bumps and bruises lately but he is the first to tell every single sales clerk in Target "I love you." He never has a shortage of hugs and when he gets excited his hands and legs twitch with overstimulated energy. It's funny to watch him flap his hands when he sees something exciting. He is aka "Captain Obvious" as he has a keen knack for repeating you or stating what everyone else is clearly aware of. These statements typically end in the word "huh?" so that we can verify that he fact...correct about his musings.

Baby Son (6 months)- "Midge." Midge is a teeny version of me. In fact, at work we had a contest to guess whose baby picture was whose and because I brought him into work and they saw him everyone guessed mine with ease because he looks just like me as a baby. Because the word "midget" is becoming un-PC I shortened it to "Midge" in hopes that nobody would take offense. He is a 14 pound ball of fire. Active, loud, and he loves the outdoors. In this respect he is my hubby. He's amazing and I can't love him enough. He hasn't yet mastered crawling forward so he looks behind him and aims backwards and goes. He also is starting to realize where his toy box is and he goes over to it and puts his hand over the edge to spill it over, although he has yet to master that yet. His eyes are still brownish-blue and we are pretty sure there is a huge battle of the DNA inside his body trying to decide if we will have a brownie or bluey. I love it when he takes a deep breath and calls out an exuberant "Ehhhhh!" so forceful from his small body that his shoulders lean forward and his back curves. Everyday I am seeing more and more of his personality and he is definitely bigger than his body.

Oldest Kid (31)- I'm having a hard time naming him. So many come to mind: "Cornfed" "Red" "Opie" "Mr. Slave." I've worn out the teasing so I think Ill jut stick to calling him "Stephen." Yes, it's his real name.

I hope this makes reading more enjoyable...or at least less confusing.

I Read...I Write...I Think!

So I haven't actually read for pleasure in awhile. I honestly just don't have the uninterrupted time to crack open a good novel and get lost.

Well I went to Barnes and Noble today and picked up a copy of The Vaccine Book by Robert Sears. I have been trying to find some really good unbiased information about vaccines and I think I have finally done it. It's been getting good reviews so I am looking forward to diving into it.

So it's not exactly "reading for pleasure" but I think it will help me decide what to do with the baby and his shot schedule. I like to sit down and educate myself on the choices I have to make as a parent. From birthing choices to infant feeding to weaning and then onto diapering and circumcision and toilet training to schooling. I have read up on em all. Please don't interpret this as an egotistical "gold medal mom" brag...I just like to research things. I have never been satisfied with an answer until I fully understand the reasonings behind it.

Heck, I even read a ton of stroller reviews today before buying my new Combi stroller at Babies R Us today. It was worth it because I love the one I chose. Yay!!

I'd better speed read it because baby boy is due for his shots on Thursday. :-(

And Speaking of Snickers...

Why the heck didn't anyone tell me about Zagnuts? They are a beautiful marriage of my beloved Butterfinger's crispity buttery center with the crunchy toasted coco nutty-ness of a Chick-O-Stick. OH. MY. GOODNESS. Heaven in a red wrapper!

I also recommend the Toasted Marshmallow Mocha at Starbucks. Since their Christmas flavors are out I have been swinging by for "just one more coffee" every day this week. I have savored a Peppermint and White Chocolate Mocha as well. My mouth had a party that day.

No wonder my baby is so hyped up. Caffeinated breast milk...does a baby good!

Wednesday, November 7, 2007

Toot Butter Snickers

Of all the funny potty words my kids have created in their short time on this earth the most popular has got to be "toot butter."

They run up to you with a cupped hand and through giggles ask, "Do you want some toot butter?" then laugh hysterically as you pretend to be horrified and grossed out.

As if toot butter wasn't enough potty humor for the week consider what my dear husband did to me the other night:

We were sorting (aka: looting) the kids' Halloween candy after the kids were in bed and I set aside the Snickers bars to put in the fridge. I can't stand Snickers at room temperature but frozen they are yummy. I asked my angel of a husband to put the fun sized Snickers in the freezer on his way to the kitchen. I sat happily sugared next to the arm of the couch as my hubby did what he was asked to do and he returned to the couch to be with me. To my confusion, instead of cuddling next to me again he climbed up on the arm of the couch where I was leaning. He stood up on the arm of the couch with his back towards me. I was still trying to figure out what he was doing when he proudly bared his behind and...oh geez...for lack of a better term..."spread em." Inside "em" was something brown and about 3 inches long and I shrieked and stood up in time so that the brown psuedo-poop only smeared the edge of my skirt when it fell from it's nasty surroundings. That punk laughed so hard I think he almost fell off the arm of the couch. I don't remember much after that except him laughing at me and me repeating over and over: "What the hell is wrong with you?" To men chocolate candy bars are a great poop gag just waiting to happen, but rare is a man who has so little inhibition that he would actually go through the motions of playing that kind of prank on his wife.

I will never be able to look at Snickers the same way again. It's all toot butter to me now.

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Wildfires...Wednesday Update

This morning I woke up to find my husband was still at the Orange Show grounds managing one of the buildings. I got the kids up and drove the four year old to pre-school. I spoke with my honey and he told me he was going to try and sleep in his truck for a few hours. I was almost back home from the pre-school drop off when I got a call on my cell from the pre-school teacher asking me to come back because my son had fallen and his teeth had punctured through his lip. I made a U turn to pick him up and we made a stop at the urgent care to make sure the damage wasn't in need of medical attention, which he wasn't, luckily. We got it cleaned up and although it looks really nasty he seems to be eating and talking fine. From there we were able to attend a birthday party for a friend of the children and I spoke with my husband again. He asked me to come by and bring him a large soda so I gladly drove through Del Taco and took a drink to my thirsty hero.

Security was tight and media wasn't allowed inside of the building. I was stopped a couple of time before I got inside because I wasn't registered as a victim. Finally I reached my hubby and gave him his drink. I got a chance to look around me...rows of cots, a place for kids to play, a place to make phone calls, a place to eat, a person up on a stage giving updates and showing a slideshow of the damage. Hundreds of faces...all different ages, races...all wondering if their home was still going to be there when they were allowed back home. There were some elderly people laying on their cots, staring emptily into space. My heart just hurt.

At the event, my husband met Dave Pelzer, the author of the books "The Lost Boy" and "A Child Called It." They are autobiographies about one of the worst abuse child cases in California's history. My husband said he isn't much of a reader, but he read all of Dave Pelzer's books. I was introduced to David and I just can't tell you how bittersweetly heartwarming git was to know he had endured so much torture as a child and here he was volunteering his time to reach out to others in need. What an amazing man.

I was not there too long as the kids were getting antsy and my hubby was busy. I left the disaster relief area and went home to feed the kids.

Not long after dinner I got a call from the school district saying that the schools would be closed Thursday and Friday because of the poor air quality. My only one in public school goes year round and is off track right now so it doesn't really affect us too badly.

And for those of you who are wondering how close we are from the fires, we are roughly 30-40 miles from the one closest to us and as far as I know it is not contained. Our home is safe but we are being hit with terrible air quality and we have been advised to stay indoors.

I will update more as I get more information. Thanks for keeping our family in your thoughts.

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

California Wildfires

This morning we could smell smoke before we got out of bed. I went outside to see our black cars covered in white ashes. The air was a hazy grey and visibility was low. Towards the north there was a huge wall of smoke covering the mountains. My eyes burned so I went back inside. I knew today we would not being playing outdoors.

Yesterday my older kids' dad and his family were evacuated from their home. I explained to the kids that the firefighters asked their dad and his family to leave their home because the fire was getting too close for it to be safer any longer. I assured them that everyone was okay without letting on that their house might actually catch fire. I didn't think they would deal well with that kinda of information. I pray that doesn't happen, that would be heartbreaking to have to explain to my children.

The entire day the smell of burning wood reminded me that others were walking away from their homes, possibly for the last time. It reminded me of those who have health issues who are not able to breathe easily because of the smoke. While driving I could feel my claustrophobia flaring up because I couldn't see familiar landmarks. I was irritated, sad, and wished for clean air and a clear sky.

After my husband got home I told the kids they needed to go through their room and pick 20 toys each to give to needy children. Right before the holidays we try to eliminate old toys to make way for the new. In doing so we also teach the kids that there are those less fortunate that we need to think of and give to them from our hearts. The two older ones didn't complain or fuss, they just went through their toys and picked out the ones to give away. My husband then made a surprise announcement that the family was going on a road trip. We packed up the toys and drove to a disaster relief facility for fire evacuees. We were redirected to the Red Cross office where we dropped off the toys and my husband let the staff know that he was trained to manage a disaster relief facility. He had undergone training for the Hurricane Katrina disaster a couple years ago. The woman who was taking the donation from us looked at him like he was holding gold. He gave her his information and she told him they were in real need of help. I could tell he really wanted to help, but he also wanted to spend time with his family. As we were leaving I heard my name being called down the hall. I could see someone walking towards us but I didn't recognize at first. Crazy enough, it was my cousin, Robert. He looked exhausted. Robert informed us that he was beat, and that they were unorganized and needed help. My husband looked at me and I told him he needed to drop us off and come back to help. So I stayed at home with the kids and he took off to help the disaster relief effort.

A few hours went by and I finally heard from my husband. He told me that there were three buildings housing and feeding people. Apparently he had been appointed facility manager and was in charge of twenty volunteers and five to six hundred evacuees. I could easily believe it...he is a leader and a fantastic manager. After a long day at work he has volunteered his time to help those whose future is uncertain. He has never been the kind of man who could rest while others suffered. In my eyes, and the eyes of many other people tonight, he is a hero. I wish I could be there to do my part and support him in his role. I suppose being here so he can be there is really doing my part. I'm just so proud of the man I married. There isn't anything better than knowing you married a man who has integrity, compassion, and a giving spirit.

Tonight I will pray for the victims and the heroes and ask that these fires are quenched and that life can get back to as normal as possible for everyone here in smokey southern California.

Peanut Butter and Chocolate Ice Cream

When I was about 8 years old I became an addict. My family was spending an afternoon with my grandfather "Pop-Pop" and we were being treated out to Baskin Robbins ice cream shop. I was always big on Rainbow Sherbet but that day I was feeling like something different. My eyes scanned the titles on the front of the cold glass cases in search of the flavor that was going to be just the right one to satisfy my sweet tooth. When I saw the peanut butter and chocolate I knew that was the one I was going to try. It looked inviting, and the swirls of cold peanut butter that streaked the rich chocolate ice cream made me curious. How would it taste? Like a Reeces Peanut Butter Cup? Like a Butterfinger? I got a tiny pink sample spoon and savored the tiny bite. It was love. Every single ice cream cone from Baskin Robbins since then has been my beloved Peanut Butter and Chocolate.

I have bought it by the tub, which is always a mistake because I can't moderate it to save my life. Yesterday I had a little scoop on a cone...and it was just enough to satisfy my craving. It's my comfort food when I am having a stressful day. While it doesn't pack the punch of a really good Starbucks coffee it leaves me feeling like I am 8 years old again and my biggest choice of the day is my flavor of ice cream.

Monday, October 22, 2007

Quote of the week

“Great minds talk about ideas, average minds talk about events, and small minds talk about people.”



Wednesday, October 3, 2007

The Begrudged Love Letter

To The Man That I Married,

Today I felt like taking your every belonging out of the house and scattering it on the front lawn. Your toothbrush would be crawling with ants, your boxers would have mud on them, and I am pretty sure that ceramic bull thing would lose his other horn in the process. I would finally be rid of the stinky shoes that permeate our tiny closet. The pitching out of your alarm clock would be most satisfying and I would rejoice as your beat up old suitcase that has been sitting on our bedroom floor unpacked for months landed hard on the dirt with an exhilarating "Fah-whump!"

Seething, I crept up on that big ceramic bull. He smiled a big bully grin right at me as I put my arms around his body and went to lift him. Then I noticed the crack in his horn where one night we put this guy back together. Yup, together. Damn. I let go of the bull, still gritting my teeth.

I twisted my wedding ring and sighed. Why do you make me go into panic mode? When things go sour between us why do I feel like running away...or more conveniently for me, pushing you out the door? Things weren't that bad, and certainly we would kiss and make up pretty soon. But why the fear? And when did you become butt head of the month?

The bull was still smiling at me. I smirked back. He'd been around before me. He's seen you through a lot. I would hate to traumatize him more.

The thing is, Baby, you have all of me. I have made myself vulnerable to you by giving you the kind of love that I have. And yeah, it scares me. It's like fight or flight with my emotions. I want to run away, hiding them under my coat, and keep them safe from harm. It took me a long time for me to entrust them to you. I can't stand to let them be stomped on again. I might never give them back.

So instead of tossing out your toothbrush it is sitting on the bathroom counter soaking in Listerine just because. And your shirts are folded and smell like Downy. I dusted off the bull and the suitcase...well, I left it there. I hope you do something with it soon or I will pack you up in it and ship you to Timbuktu.

I'm still not speaking to you. I want to make that perfectly clear. But through the silence those actions speak. And they say that I still am in love with you you stupid, insensitive, hard headed boar of a man. Ask the bull. He will tell you everything.


Your Wife

Thursday, August 30, 2007


You Are Guinness

You know beer well, and you'll only drink the best beers in the world.

Watered down beers disgust you, as do the people who drink them.

When you drink, you tend to become a bit of a know it all - especially about subjects you don't know well.

But your friends tolerate your drunken ways, because you introduce them to the best beers around.

Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Jawbreakingly crunchy.

Elimination communication is the term for parents who try to read their baby's body language in order to anticipate the need to go to the bathroom. So in other words, mom is carrying baby, baby grunts, mom runs to sink and holds baby over it and makes a hissing noise. Baby pees in sink. No diapers, no mess.

Or so it seems....

As the mother to three children who I nursed, co-slept with, and wore I cannot see why some people feel the need to push the envelope of AP any further. We are already hard working enough as it is, why add to it? Plus, how can you have a life outside of your child if you have to listen for grunts and facial expressions all the time? I can see it now:

(mom and dad having intimate time in bed)

Mom: Was that the baby?

Dad: I don't know, I think that was me.

Mom: I think I heard the pee grunt.

Dad: Are you sure it just wasn't a sleeping grunt?

Mom: Could be an "I'm hungry" grunt.

Dad: Peek in on Junior.

(mom peeks in)

Mom: He's asleep.

(kissing, petting resumes)

Mom: I think I heard another grunt.

Dad: Just ignore it.

Mom: I can't! I have to go get him.

Dad: (frustrated, looking at his man area) Please hurry!

(mom leaves and comes back)

Mom: I think he just has gas. I'll put him in the bed with us just in case he starts crying.

(Dad rolls over, exasperated)

Maybe in some elaborate way this diaperless method can be a good birth control.

If you are someone who does E.C. then I commend you. You have taken on the most time consuming task on earth. I just hope you don't give me dirty looks when I toss my Pampers diaper into the garbage. I like having hot passionate sex with my husband uninterrupted. I like being able to go to the store without looking for a potential toilet for my infant in the frozen foods aisle. I also like my house and my clothing to smell like Downy and Febreeze and not like a dog kennel. Plus, Pamper's Points get you really cool toys when you redeem them. :-)

Too crunchy for my taste. Sorry.

Thursday, August 16, 2007

The Devious Plan

In the Mommy Olympics there are a few categories:

1. Those who exaggerate about their children's accomplishments and then brag.

"My child was talking like an adult at 12 months." ~My grandmother about my uncle.

2. Those who push their children hard and then brag about how much they can do.

"Johnny is reading above his grade level, spends 2 hours a night on homework, takes karate, soccer, and art lessons with a private teacher and then on weekends we volunteer at our church and he feeds the homeless and is on his way to solving world hunger in his spare time...." (I'm tuning this person out by now.)

3. Those who nurture their children to become the best they can and brag about areas they excell in.

"Chloe is a fantastic writer. She is already writing in paragraphs and she just started first grade." ~ Me, about my 6 year old. (Notice I snuck that in there.) :-)

And then there are those who refuse to participate in the Mommy Olympics, and those are the moms I have to wonder a bit about. I mean, you birthed a beautiful living breathing's your God-given right to brag about this little person! To those women I say "Get into the game!"

Today I will begin volunteering in my daughter's first grade classroom. I will be helping with the Advanced Reading program. This means I will be gauging how well the children are reading and understanding what they read. I do this because I love being able to see Chloe's classroom close up. I love helping her awesome teacher and I love kids. However, I also do it so I can see how well Chloe is doing and how she is measuring up to the other kids. I want to watch Chloe and figure out where she needs help and where she is strong in so I can work on those areas with her. I can also see how she behaves in class (not that she is a problem) and how she interacts with her peers. This is my "mommy detective" hard at work making sure I know my daughter well enough to nurture her through her school year. I'm looking forward to watching her shine and glow when her mommy comes in to help. She is really excited to have me come's almost tear jerking to know she is so proud that I am her mommy.

Is there anything better than walking into a classroom and being "Chloe's Mommy?" This is going to be the highlight of my day today.

Um, two months later...

I started blogging on the day that started a month of non-stop urgent care and doctor visits for my little ones. Here is the final score:

Ear infections: 4

Corneal Abrasions: 1

Croup: 2

Stomach Flu: 1

Eye infections: 1

Well, at least I have established myself at the urgent care. The staff knows me now and is probably trying to determine whether I am nuts or just having a string of really bad luck.

So I am back to writing. I've loved writing ever since I was a kid. I used to make my own "chapter books" when I was in second grade and take scotch tape and cover the front page so it appeared laminated. I would even include a table of contents. When I don't write I don't feel like I am in touch with myself. Writing has given me a wonderful outlet and I savor the time I spend spewing my random thoughts and stories out on paper (or online).

Since my last blog I have also gone back to work. It was so hard leaving my 3 month old because I am so incredibly attached to him but I know that my job is really important and that without my job we have no benefits or steady income as my husband is self-employed. I have a space in my freezer for frozen breastmilk and we hired a wonderful nanny who is pretty granola. She wears Noah and doesn't let him cry and she grows her own veggies (sweet!). She is also a big supporter of breastfeeding. I also love waking up and having my dishes done and my laundry folded. It really does make my life so much easier. Without her I would be stretched way too thin.

So I'm back! I don't think I have any avid readers but just in case I thought I owed a bit of an explanation.

Saturday, June 9, 2007

Introduction (aka "The kids are still alive...we're good!")

Six years ago I remember looking at my two month old daughter and feeling a sense of pride as it hit me that I had managed to care for this human being's delicate life successfully. I think my exact thought was "Wow, she's still alive." Looking down at my breasts (which from here on will be referred to as "nunnies") I knew that we did it together. Hi five girls! ~Ow!~

Today I have three gorgeous kiddos and two step-daughters so I am blessed beyond my wildest dreams. I love my husband more than words can say. Life is good!

This morning I was looking at my littlest guy, who just turned seven weeks old. The feeling that came over me six years ago hit me again: "He's still alive!" Guess that feeling of awe never quite goes away.

Wait....did I say "Life is good?" Spoke too soon. You see, I started this blog three hours ago and between paragraphs all hell broke loose here. Baby started screaming, kids started destroying, time-outs have been administered (in fact, one is in progress as I type) and hubby is at work. I managed to clean up the soup that boiled over on the stove but still have yet to get to Target to pick out heels for tomorrow's wedding.

Gotta go free the captive from her naughty spot. More adventures in parenthood to come...