Meet the Nameless Children

I have been writing without using anyone's real name but my own. My mommy instinct tells me that this is a good thing to do for the safety of my offspring. However, I find writing out "my oldest daughter" is a lot more time consuming than just giving them nicknames. So I have decided on the following:

Oldest Daughter (6)- "Nee Nee." This is a shortened version of "Nee Nee Noonie Nunnies," which I called her as a baby for her love of breast feeding. She is in first grade, very smart. She was student of the month in October and told me yesterday after I told her to stop asking me "why?" all the time: "Mom, you told us that smart people ask the most questions." *sigh* She's a super kiddo. She is aka "The Informer" for obvious reasons. I never have to worry about injustice as long as she is around to tattle and bring the judge, jury, and executioner (me) out to referee.

Middle Son (4) - "Bear." He earned this nickname as he was born at 8lbs, 14oz completely natural and unmedicated. He's a sensitive guy...tends to cry over small bumps and bruises lately but he is the first to tell every single sales clerk in Target "I love you." He never has a shortage of hugs and when he gets excited his hands and legs twitch with overstimulated energy. It's funny to watch him flap his hands when he sees something exciting. He is aka "Captain Obvious" as he has a keen knack for repeating you or stating what everyone else is clearly aware of. These statements typically end in the word "huh?" so that we can verify that he is...in fact...correct about his musings.

Baby Son (6 months)- "Midge." Midge is a teeny version of me. In fact, at work we had a contest to guess whose baby picture was whose and because I brought him into work and they saw him everyone guessed mine with ease because he looks just like me as a baby. Because the word "midget" is becoming un-PC I shortened it to "Midge" in hopes that nobody would take offense. He is a 14 pound ball of fire. Active, loud, and he loves the outdoors. In this respect he is my hubby. He's amazing and I can't love him enough. He hasn't yet mastered crawling forward so he looks behind him and aims backwards and goes. He also is starting to realize where his toy box is and he goes over to it and puts his hand over the edge to spill it over, although he has yet to master that yet. His eyes are still brownish-blue and we are pretty sure there is a huge battle of the DNA inside his body trying to decide if we will have a brownie or bluey. I love it when he takes a deep breath and calls out an exuberant "Ehhhhh!" so forceful from his small body that his shoulders lean forward and his back curves. Everyday I am seeing more and more of his personality and he is definitely bigger than his body.

Oldest Kid (31)- I'm having a hard time naming him. So many come to mind: "Cornfed" "Red" "Opie" "Mr. Slave." I've worn out the teasing so I think Ill jut stick to calling him "Stephen." Yes, it's his real name.

I hope this makes reading more enjoyable...or at least less confusing.