Thursday, August 21, 2008

Feed Me!

I installed a feed so I can figure out if anyone actually reads this blog and lo and behold...people do!

I have a list of unanswered questions this morning. The majority are rhetorical but nonetheless they still plague me daily:

1. Are ants facing such a famine outdoors that they are forced to come indoors and eat the drippings of my Juicy Couture sugar body scrub of the jar? I think it would really give them severe diarreha considering the sugar is coated in oil. And if that happens why do they come back?

2. Why can't people say "vaginal?" Granted it doesn't roll off the tongue like "penile" but I can't understand why it's so hard. I hate it when people ask me if I had natural birth. I tell them yes, then they ask me if I had drugs. Didn't they just ask me that? No, they were afraid to ask me if I had a vaginal birth. Say it with me: vaaag-gin-nuuull. Use it in a sentence: I was so embarrassed because I passed gas during my last vaginal exam. Still trying to stifle that giggle? Me too...passing gas is funny.

3. Why do toddlers only want what is potentially harmful, lethal, or can cause long term damage? When you pull them out of danger they scream, yell, kick and flail as if to say "But mom, I like brain damage!"

4. Why can't the people running the Starbucks drive-thru let me make my own choices? Why do they offer me a fabulous non-fat carmel mocha latte frappachino and a chocolate chip cookie before I have a chance to speak? Although Chris at the Starbucks here has lured me a couple of times, I'll admit. And I didn't like the honey latte at all. Sorry Chris, but you are still my favorite barista.

5. And while I'm on the subject of Starbucks why does a soy drink cost more? In my experience soy is actually cheaper than cow's milk.

Okay, that is it for this morning. I have some errands to run and I need to finish up washing my cloth diapers so that I can pack my diaper bag. I still need about 6-8 more to get me through comfortably. For the record, I love the BumGenius pocket brand. I think that is the one I am going to be sticking with from now on.

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