Boy Cooties

The first weekend of this month Stephen and I went camping with our small group from church. During the trip Stephen started complaining of a sore throat. It was pretty bad and I encouraged him to see a doctor when we arrived home but he is stubborn and refused.

So our camping gear is still sitting in our formal living room. Still. I can't unpack it all myself because it is heavy and Stephen has probably forgotten it exists.

Now here is where I have to reveal a secret about my spouse that I wasn't planning on telling anyone but it ties into the story so here goes...he wears my deodorant. He insists that it works better and that it smells better. Ooookay. I bought him his own but it was unscented and he wanted to smell powder fresh. Again, oooookay. So he has been putting my feminine deodorant on his stinky pits. I can hear the commercial now..."Strong enough for a man, but made for a woman!"

Stephen has used up the last of my deodorant and I remember there is some in the suitcase downstairs buried under camping gear so I go downstairs. I open up the suitcase and there I see a disturbing sight....his toothbrush.

I count the days since we have arrived back at home from camping...seven. Seven days that his toothbrush has been packed away. I try to recall if his breath was horribly stinky the last time we kissed. Yuck yuck yuck! I love the guy...but this is where the line gets drawn.

So I call him and the conversation goes like this:

Him: Hey, what's up?
Me: Do you realize your toothbrush has been packed away since the camping trip?
Him: Uh-huh.
Me: Have you been brushing your teeth?
Him: Uh-huh. I have been using your toothbrush.
Me: Uhhh huh.

I dropped it because I was really too baffled to decode the male mind and how it works.

Man is sick.

Man doesn't see his toothbrush.

Man grabs what toothbrush he finds.

Man brushes teeth with it.

Man doesn't tell owner of toothbrush.

Man repeats process for a week.

Wife wakes up with a sore throat.

DOH!