So I am on week two of being out of the "work force." Between eating my bon-bons and watching my "stories" in my bathrobe and rollers I pretend to look for work and enroll in school but don't sign up for any classes. I then take Stephen's check and blow it on a new turkey fryer and a box of Twinkies at the Walmart. After that I move the car engine out of the bathtub so I can take a bath and drink Pabst Blue Ribbon out of a Dixie cup.
Okay, so that's not the way it has gone, but I like fabricating stories around stereotypes.
It's been good and bad being a full time mom. I love my three monkeys so much. It's been great to feel available to them. I have also been attending church on Sunday and I am able to eat lunch with the family on Fridays (our tradition). I also have the house more kept up and the kids are in more of a routine. The only thing that sucks is that there are these things called "bills" that keep coming in the mail. Sometimes they disguise themselves as "statements" or "invoices" but they are the same thing. They are all people who think that I have money to give them. I want to chuckle when I see the amounts they think I have sitting here waiting to give them...the fools! You need a job to have that kind of money!
So back to the age old debate...should mama take her precious children and place them in the care of someone else so she can work and bring home the bacon or should she watch her husband work 14 hour days and count pennies until they are self-sufficient and she can again go to work without guilt?
It's really not an easy answer...especially since Stephen is self-employed and it's not like he can just work overtime. It's kind of wild and stupid at the same time...like floating down the Mississippi without a paddle or a chastity belt (think Deliverance).
I am not sure what is going to happen yet. Today was a bad day...I was wondering if someone might actually pay me if I had to become an exotic dancer. I took comfort knowing that if they didn't like what they saw they could pay me to put my clothing back on. When I start thinking in those terms then you know things are a bit stressful. And to those who are appalled at my thought...get over it. If you haven't been down and out enough to have this thought then you really need to experience life a little more.
I don't want people worrying about me. We will make it. It's a time for change and growing. We are out of our comfort zone and it's probably good for us. Just keep us in your prayers that God points us in the right direction soon.
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