Sunday, March 15, 2009

Uter-us! Not Uter-you!

With the recent negative media surrounding "Octomom" and her decision to have a large family without the means to support them I feel the need to speak up for the moms who have decided to have more than the standard two and a half children who actually take the time to love and support them so they grow up to be well-adjusted adults.

I have three children, so already I have heard my fair share of negative attitudes regarding my procreation plans, especially since my first two were a girl and a boy and there is an unwritten law about stopping once you get one of each. While I don't necessarily feel the need to justify my choices I feel the need to let the general public know that just because someone has a full minivan doesn't give anyone the right to vomit opinions on the soccer mom inside.

Believe it or not, there are families out there who have more than two children who actually do quite well. They are self-supporting and their children are well behaved with few exceptions. They aren't careless abour their birth control nor do they feel the need to draw their self esteem from their children. While their children might not have the most expensive clothing or have to share rooms or sacrifice some things for their siblings and that is teaching them to live for people other than themselves. The older ones may help the younger ones but it's part of living in a community of people. Most parents understand that whether you have two or ten children that your love is never limited and you will have enough love to go around. Motherly love is truly something designed to be infinite.

I have often considered having "just one more" to finish my brood. I have already heard my fair share of negativity when I have shared this feeling with others and I am honestly already done with it. I work hard to make sure my children feel loved, happy, and that they are well-adjusted. When we go out in public we get compliments on their behavior all the time. All three children excel in one area or another and all three love each other to pieces. My husband and I have worked hard to build up a business that can support a larger family and our finances are not anyone else's concerns but ours.

What I chose to do with my uterus isn't anyone's business but mine. I know I speak for other moms like me when I say that people who decide that their opinion needs to be spewed all over the front of my mom jeans are in for an unpleasant comeback. I'm a fantastic mother and my children love me to death. If I feel I can handle having a fourth child then I can. If that's not for you...great! My reproductive rights are my own and I will exercise them responsibly. If you don't like it bite your tongue and swallow your opinion down hard. It will taste a little bitter but in the long run it will be better for your health, trust me!


Anjie said...

Amen! If you want more children than I say more power to you! Your children are beautiful and you deserve as many as you want. I love reading your blog.

Erin said...

You go, Wendy!

My sister-in-law is the proud mother of six well-behaved, beautiful children (all of which were born drug-free naturally, by the way!). I am constantly blown away at what great parents she and her hubby are. Each of their kids know how special, unique, and loved they are. And while they survive on only his salary as an associate pastor, they do great with what they have. She home schools the 4 oldest (ages 13 - 5) while taking care of a 3 and a 21 month old. She's super-mom and I am lucky to have her as an example for me.

I am planning on having at least 3 kids (Lord willing). I think 3 would be fun because we would be the Jackson five! :) I have plenty of love to give and am looking forward to the advnture ahead!

Steve & Carla said...

Very well said Wendy. Seems like people are always happy to hear about pregnancy #1 and #2 but anything after that is rarely met with any sort of celebration. And while I do still think the octo mom has a screw loose I do not think it's because she has a total of 14 children, IMO it's because she has 8 that are all the same age. That is where I think the the irrational part comes into play.

{sara} said...

I agree with you...whole heartedly about having numerous children & having the right to. I have four, I have an aunt & uncle with 13. I do not judge people over having as many children as they long as they can provide.

With octo-mom, though, I haven't read a lot about her. From what I understand, isn't she on welfare? I do have a hard time with someone choosing to have so many children when they cannot provide for them. I think doing fertility treatments , when you already have 6 that you cannot provide for, is irresponsible.

Mandy said...

Well said! It's distrubing how free some people feel to lash out at parents who have more than 2 kids and I really like the way you addressed them.

Ms. Suleman is the exception, not the rule when it comes to mothers of large families. However, her story has certainly exposed the darker side of American attitudes on child bearing in the 21st C.

Rhiannon said...

you have to admit, there is a line though. i mean, the duggars for example?