Update: The Job Situation

Thanks to everyone who has been so wonderfully supportive and willing to do whatever they can to help me in my current situation with my career. It meant a lot to me to know that so many people have my back. :-)

Not much has changed. I still can't take the exam, although I have been pushing with the National Board for Respiratory Care. I found out I am missing two classes (chemistry and physics) and if I took those classes that I could take the exam but I wouldn't be able to get my AS. I have already started looking into schools.

I have already come to terms with the fact that I will no longer be working at my hospital. It was a part of my identity for 5 years and so the transition will be tough. I have the option to rush into another job or to collect unemployment. I have decided to opt for unemployment for this moment as I go back to school. I think I would be filling up my plate too full to try and work and go to school with all three kidlets. If I go back to school at least I will be able to take the exam and get my RRT credential that I can take anywhere, and that includes being re-hired at my old job.

I have already put in an application for the kids to get Healthy Families insurance. I wish I could COBRA out my current benefits but it would be far too expensive. Stephen and I will just try not to get hurt or sick.

My only frustration with this whole thing was that I wasn't given more than a month's warning that I would lose my job, and when I did find out that I needed more time to go to school I was refused that time. It isn't ethical. I did consider hiring a lawyer but that can be a two way street. I may win, but even if I do I will be permanently marked as "The RT That Sues" and I don't think it would be worth it.

Thanks to everyone who has been so sweet to me. It's been a pretty emotional time, especially since it was going on during the holidays.

Gotta run....here goes nothing!

Shock

One of my dear friends, Carey, was just diagnosed with Chronic Myelogenous Leukemia. She is only 37 and has two young children.

Please send your prayers for her. She's just a wonderful mom and friend, I love having her in my life.

Love you Carey.

Pushing Back Tears With Faith

Proverbs 3:5,6 says: "Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight."

This has got to be one of my favorite Bible verses of all times. It reminds me of a big cozy blanket on a cold night. Many times in my life I have trusted and looking back I knew that the Lord knew what was right all along.

Tonight I sit here slowly absorbing that my career might be ending soon against my wishes. The tears keep trying to sneak up on me but I push them back. The kids are here and I don't want them to worry because mommy is upset.

To truly understand what is happening to me, you have to know a bit of background. I graduated from a vocational college ten years ago without my AS degree but I took my CRRT exam to become a Respiratory Care Practitioner and I passed. Now a step above that exam is the RRT, which is a national registry and given by the National Board for Respiratory Care. I graduated from college "Registry Eligible," meaning that I was able to take the RRT exam. Years passed and I had my kids, went inactive for awhile when I was staying at home, and returned to work in 2004. I went to work for a large medical center where I soon became a relief lead for pediatrics, was a member of the highly regarded transport team, and precepted other therapists. My experience has made me a huge asset to the department and my co-workers are like family. The last two years of my life were nuts. I was divorced, a single mom, then remarried, then pregnant, then I had major surgery, then I had my baby, and coming back from maternity leave I decided I would have to get my RRT exam done. Administration had been asking this of us for awhile but it had never been a priority because my personal life was so crazy.

I applied for my RRT exam but was unable to determine by the selections I was given how I qualified to take the exam. I called the NBRC and asked them which box I was supposed to check and they told me that two years ago they started requiring an AS degree to take the exam. I told them I graduated "registry eligible" so I should be grandfathered in but they refused and when I argued further the lady on the other end of the phone told me to get another job. I hung up very upset and went to my manager with my predicament. She was very understanding and even went up to bat for me, writing a letter to complain about how I was treated and sending it to the NBRC. I let her know that I was going to look into going back to school and she was supportive and told me to let her know what was going on.

I looked into different colleges and one college in particular wanted $17k for me to finish my AS degree. I wasn't sure if this was going to be my best bet so I looked into other schools. We had to weigh out costs and time, as going back to school with three kids and a full time job would be hard.

Two weeks ago I got a letter from Administration telling the therapists in my department that by January 1st, 2008 all RTs would be required to have passed or at least attempted the RRT exam. Those who didn't would have their positions terminated.

I wrote a letter to my manager, administrator, and executive director explaining my situation and how I would be unable to take the RRT exam due to circumstances beyond my control and asked them if I should be concerned about my job. I was called into my manager's office and she told me that it didn't look good because they were unable to make exceptions for this rule because otherwise they would be playing favorites and it might open them to lawsuits. They were unable to hold my position while I went back to school. Basically, their hands were tied and they had to let me go. She did recommend that I try writing out my goals for them. She said that she couldn't promise anything, but they could try. I told her I would.

(I hope I'm not losing you guys...hang in there for a little longer.)

My vocational college had closed down years ago so I had to do some investigating and asking around to find my transcripts. Finally I had them sent to me a couple of days ago. I started calling colleges immediately and what I learned was like a smack in the face. None of the colleges I called would accept the classes I had taken at the vocational college towards my AS degree. In fact, I would have to completely start over like a new student with no credits. So in order to keep my job I would have to start over again as if I knew nothing.

In 13 days is my last day of work. I have done some job hunting and turned in my resume but as it stands I am looking at losing everything...my job, my paycheck, my benefits (which my children and spouse are covered under), life insurance, my retirement in less than two weeks and I can't do anything about it. The worst part is that my hospital is just the first to implement this standard and other hospitals will soon follow, meaning that I will not be able to work anywhere soon.

So I stand here at a place in the road where there are so many ways I could go. I could start over and do the program all over again and add another huge student loan to my debt load. I could collect unemployment and look for another job. I could go to college for something completely different. There may be a new path there I can't even see yet. I feel as if I am hovering above a tank full of sharks and I need a game plan on how I will survive falling in the water.

I look at my kids and know I can't just throw my hands up. They need me to be strong and push on and take care of them. My husband is self employed and while he does well we still depend heavily on my income right now. How will I juggle childcare? Will my new job be supportive of me pumping at work so I can keep breastfeeding Midge? What can I sell if I need money? What if I can't get a job? Where is a good place I can waitress?....etc....etc.

Right now I need prayers, and lots of them. I am trying to keep my faith that God has something bigger and better planned for me and a year from now I will be looking back and things will be okay.

I will update my situation as things unravel so keep checking back.

Thanks for your support and love during this difficult time.

Meet the Nameless Children

I have been writing without using anyone's real name but my own. My mommy instinct tells me that this is a good thing to do for the safety of my offspring. However, I find writing out "my oldest daughter" is a lot more time consuming than just giving them nicknames. So I have decided on the following:

Oldest Daughter (6)- "Nee Nee." This is a shortened version of "Nee Nee Noonie Nunnies," which I called her as a baby for her love of breast feeding. She is in first grade, very smart. She was student of the month in October and told me yesterday after I told her to stop asking me "why?" all the time: "Mom, you told us that smart people ask the most questions." *sigh* She's a super kiddo. She is aka "The Informer" for obvious reasons. I never have to worry about injustice as long as she is around to tattle and bring the judge, jury, and executioner (me) out to referee.

Middle Son (4) - "Bear." He earned this nickname as he was born at 8lbs, 14oz completely natural and unmedicated. He's a sensitive guy...tends to cry over small bumps and bruises lately but he is the first to tell every single sales clerk in Target "I love you." He never has a shortage of hugs and when he gets excited his hands and legs twitch with overstimulated energy. It's funny to watch him flap his hands when he sees something exciting. He is aka "Captain Obvious" as he has a keen knack for repeating you or stating what everyone else is clearly aware of. These statements typically end in the word "huh?" so that we can verify that he is...in fact...correct about his musings.

Baby Son (6 months)- "Midge." Midge is a teeny version of me. In fact, at work we had a contest to guess whose baby picture was whose and because I brought him into work and they saw him everyone guessed mine with ease because he looks just like me as a baby. Because the word "midget" is becoming un-PC I shortened it to "Midge" in hopes that nobody would take offense. He is a 14 pound ball of fire. Active, loud, and he loves the outdoors. In this respect he is my hubby. He's amazing and I can't love him enough. He hasn't yet mastered crawling forward so he looks behind him and aims backwards and goes. He also is starting to realize where his toy box is and he goes over to it and puts his hand over the edge to spill it over, although he has yet to master that yet. His eyes are still brownish-blue and we are pretty sure there is a huge battle of the DNA inside his body trying to decide if we will have a brownie or bluey. I love it when he takes a deep breath and calls out an exuberant "Ehhhhh!" so forceful from his small body that his shoulders lean forward and his back curves. Everyday I am seeing more and more of his personality and he is definitely bigger than his body.

Oldest Kid (31)- I'm having a hard time naming him. So many come to mind: "Cornfed" "Red" "Opie" "Mr. Slave." I've worn out the teasing so I think Ill jut stick to calling him "Stephen." Yes, it's his real name.

I hope this makes reading more enjoyable...or at least less confusing.

I Read...I Write...I Think!

So I haven't actually read for pleasure in awhile. I honestly just don't have the uninterrupted time to crack open a good novel and get lost.

Well I went to Barnes and Noble today and picked up a copy of The Vaccine Book by Robert Sears. I have been trying to find some really good unbiased information about vaccines and I think I have finally done it. It's been getting good reviews so I am looking forward to diving into it.

So it's not exactly "reading for pleasure" but I think it will help me decide what to do with the baby and his shot schedule. I like to sit down and educate myself on the choices I have to make as a parent. From birthing choices to infant feeding to weaning and then onto diapering and circumcision and toilet training to schooling. I have read up on em all. Please don't interpret this as an egotistical "gold medal mom" brag...I just like to research things. I have never been satisfied with an answer until I fully understand the reasonings behind it.

Heck, I even read a ton of stroller reviews today before buying my new Combi stroller at Babies R Us today. It was worth it because I love the one I chose. Yay!!

I'd better speed read it because baby boy is due for his shots on Thursday. :-(

And Speaking of Snickers...

Why the heck didn't anyone tell me about Zagnuts? They are a beautiful marriage of my beloved Butterfinger's crispity buttery center with the crunchy toasted coco nutty-ness of a Chick-O-Stick. OH. MY. GOODNESS. Heaven in a red wrapper!

I also recommend the Toasted Marshmallow Mocha at Starbucks. Since their Christmas flavors are out I have been swinging by for "just one more coffee" every day this week. I have savored a Peppermint and White Chocolate Mocha as well. My mouth had a party that day.

No wonder my baby is so hyped up. Caffeinated breast milk...does a baby good!

Toot Butter Snickers

Of all the funny potty words my kids have created in their short time on this earth the most popular has got to be "toot butter."

They run up to you with a cupped hand and through giggles ask, "Do you want some toot butter?" then laugh hysterically as you pretend to be horrified and grossed out.

As if toot butter wasn't enough potty humor for the week consider what my dear husband did to me the other night:

We were sorting (aka: looting) the kids' Halloween candy after the kids were in bed and I set aside the Snickers bars to put in the fridge. I can't stand Snickers at room temperature but frozen they are yummy. I asked my angel of a husband to put the fun sized Snickers in the freezer on his way to the kitchen. I sat happily sugared next to the arm of the couch as my hubby did what he was asked to do and he returned to the couch to be with me. To my confusion, instead of cuddling next to me again he climbed up on the arm of the couch where I was leaning. He stood up on the arm of the couch with his back towards me. I was still trying to figure out what he was doing when he proudly bared his behind and...oh geez...for lack of a better term..."spread em." Inside "em" was something brown and about 3 inches long and I shrieked and stood up in time so that the brown psuedo-poop only smeared the edge of my skirt when it fell from it's nasty surroundings. That punk laughed so hard I think he almost fell off the arm of the couch. I don't remember much after that except him laughing at me and me repeating over and over: "What the hell is wrong with you?" To men chocolate candy bars are a great poop gag just waiting to happen, but rare is a man who has so little inhibition that he would actually go through the motions of playing that kind of prank on his wife.

I will never be able to look at Snickers the same way again. It's all toot butter to me now.